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Christmas was, apparently, more than anything Spin could have imagined. He'd had a few, distant and cursory things keeping in tradition and not much beyond that. But here he was, wit ha whole family of people, ones who were happy to have him there, that encouraged him and were really kind. He wasn't used to it. It had taken a lot of getting used to, wondering how badly he could ruin their expectations, and what they wanted from him. But they just liked him. Like J did. He didn't know what to make of it.

They had decorated a tree, and put presents under it, and now they were making cookies. Homemade, with cookie cutters and everything. Spin felt like he was in some sort of TV holiday special. And that was amazing. He'd never thought it could feel this warm.

Mixing the bowl of batter, smiling to himself over the whole thing, Spin was too pleased to notice the slight glow building around his hands.

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All told, things were going better than J could ever have hoped. His mom had been charmed by Spin's manners, Daniel had adopted the idea of having a middle brother pretty quickly, and J was even getting along with his dad. There was something to be said for Christmas miracles there. Best of all was Spin himself. He'd never heard the kid so happy and he couldn't help but smile every time he caught the tune. Spin needed something like this, and it was good to hear him finally getting it.

He was pulling sprinkles and frosting and whatever else you could conceivably put on a cookie out of the cupboard when a quick glance over his shoulder caught a blue glow. The subsequent double take told him that Spin's hands were glowing. That was probably not a good thing.

But he grinned and played it cool, because freaking anybody out was the last thing he wanted to do. "Hey, Spin, you wanna come help me out with this?"

Spin looked up at the call of his name, grinning brighter than he thought he could have and still somehow oblivious to the slowly growing aura around his hands. "Hmm? Sure! Yeah!"

It was as he was putting the bowl down to join J that he finally noticed the slight gathering, and his expression quite suddenly shifted to one of terror, and the color draining from his face.

"Um--s-scuze me a second," he blurted, shoving his hands into his pockets before darting out of the kitchen.

J knew Spin was going to bolt as soon as he heard the tune change. Sure enough, seconds later he was out of the room, leaving J with his hands full of sprinkles, getting quizzical looks from his mom. Yeah, that was kind of exactly what he'd been trying to avoid. He set the sprinkles down on the table, looked over his shoulder at his mom - "Back in a bit. Don't worry." - and left the kitchen to find Spin.

He was a bit surprised when the tune led him to the hall closet. The closet? Really? He opened the door and looked at Spin, who was, sure enough, hiding in the closet, lit up by that blue glow. "What're you doin' in there?" He jerked his head in the direction of his room. "C'mon, let's go work this out."

It hadn't been a very well thought-out escape from the room; he'd wanted to find someplace quiet and out of the way, where he could calm himself down and no one would find him on accident. Closets were nice, out of the way, small spaces where he could get himself together and recollect, after all.

With J around, though, Spin knew he wouldn't have long to try and figure things out on his own. J wasn't the sort to leave him alone, and he was also able to find wherever Spin hid, no matter how ridiculous. The door opened, and Spin looked up with a wince, flexing his hands in an attempt to work out the energy.

"I--ahh..." He paused, not entirely willing to move out from between the jackets. "D-did they see?"

At the question, J glanced back in the direction of the kitchen, then back at Spin. "Don't think so," he said evenly. "Though if anyone decides t' come lookin' for us, they're gonna find it real weird that I'm standin' here talkin' t' coats. Now c'mon." He put a hand on Spin's shoulder. "Let's find another place t' talk."

Spin's eyes traced back towards the kitchen as well, though he couldn't much see very well through the wall or coats. He chewed at his lip, before stepping out to J, hiding his hands away once more. "Okay..."

He let the older boy lead him back to his room, and Spin kept himself on guard, fearful of anyone catching sight of that flicker that peeked out from his pockets. "I... I'm sorry," he mumbled as they moved.

"Don't worry 'bout it." One hallway and a closed door later, they were safe inside J's room. He sat down on the bed and gestured for Spin to do the same. Best thing he could think to do was just calm him down. "You gonna be okay?" he asked the younger boy quietly.

"I think so," Spin said as he took a seat of his own. He shut his eyes tight and tried to calm himself down, willing the swell of emotions down and away. It took a moment or two, winding down from that first surge of fear to a more subtle, standard worry. He opened his eyes again to find the glow settled to a faint, hardly present color. He gave a hard swallow. "I... I didn't mean to. I didn't think--sorry."

"Okay. Good." J watched quietly as the energy around Spin's hands faded. The glow was just about gone, but so was the happiness that had been in Spin's tune not five minutes ago. Couldn't have one without the other, huh.

"I told you, 's okay." He put an arm gently around Spin's shoulders as the kid apologized again. "Don't worry 'bout it."

Spin shook his head at J's reassurance. "But... I could've... I could've hurt someone, or... blown up your house or something, I don't even know... Just because of some dumb cookies." The last part was added on in reluctance. As much as he enjoyed doing these sorts of things with J and his family, if he was going to put them at risk for it, it might be better if he just stayed out of the way. He sighed. "I'm... I'm fine, if you wanna go back to it. I can stay here."

"But you didn't." He kept his hand where it was, hoping that might give Spin even a little reassurance. "You're gettin' better at this, an' I'm here to watch your back. You're fine." Of course, the odds of Spin taking that to heart when he was like this were pretty slim, but that wouldn't stop J from trying.

He just gave Spin a look at that second statement. "Yeah, I'm gonna go do Christmas stuff an' leave the guy I invited home t' do Christmas stuff with back here. Don't think so."

Spin shook his head. "It's been getting worse. It swells up more often. I try to push it down, and get rid of it, but... I don't know how long I can keep it in. Just for feeling things." He folded his fingers together as that faint glow of what was left, flickered out, and he shook his head again. "I'll drag down the good feeling you guys have, out there. I don't want to do that. You guys don't deserve it."

J fell silent at that revelation. He hadn't known about any of that - that much was evident from his previous words. "Can you talk to whoever's teachin' control when we get back, see if there's somethin' you can do?" he suggested. As far out of his depth as he was concerning Spin's powers, J still wasn't letting him off the social hook that easily. "An' honestly, after a few days I kinda figured you'd pick up on the fact that they want you out there. Family likes you, Spin." He gave him the beginnings of a grin. "Plus, Mom'd worry more 'f you stayed in here than 'f you came back out with a straight face."

"I..." Spin paused. He'd been avoiding bringing it up, in Control class. He'd held on to that futile hope that, with enough time, he could maybe just get the ability to die down if he left it alone. But it wasn't working, and he remembered to what Derrick had been saying. It was his responsibility to try and control what he could do, before someone got hurt. Spin didn't really want to know what he was capable of... but if it could stop the dangers of people getting hurt... "I-I can try, I guess..."

J's faint grin was met with a wary sidelong look. "I'm... really glad you guys have me here, and..." He started to blink hard. He couldn't get all emotional after what just happened. "Thanks. Really. But... if I mess up again, or do something wrong... I don't know if I can handle doing that to you."

"Sounds good." The less worried Spin was - and he was worried nearly all the time, so any step away from that was a good move - the more that he could start living life instead of being scared of screwing up all the time.

Sorry, Spin, but those excuses just weren't holding water with J. "What part of 'I got your back' did miss?" He sighed and squeezed Spin's shoulder just a bit. "C'mon, you shouldn't be holed up in a room alone at Christmas. You have some fun an' I'll keep an eye on things, alright? 'S what big brothers are here for."

There was that thing J kept doing. Calling Spin his brother. No matter how many times he said it, Spin wasn't ever sure he could get used to it--especially now now that he'd met the real one. But there was the one thing that had changed; instead of the idea causing a full-on panic, the thought of it was almost starting to be a comfort.

He was here with family.

He didn't want to ruin it. Sweet god, he did not want to ruin it. But J... and the rest of the family, it seemed, too... they were all so sincere. They trusted him. Spin took a deep breath. "Okay. If... if you're really sure... okay."

There was a reason J kept doing that thing - to him, it was true. After all, he was allowed to have more than one brother, wasn't he?

He heard the tune start to relax, and he was smiling before Spin even opened his mouth. "'Course I'm sure." He stood and turned that smile on Spin. "Wouldn't say that sorta thing if I wasn't."

Spin returned the smile with his own ever-uncertain grin, and he stood up beside him. If he was going to try and keep up with this whole Christmas cheer thing, he might as well get back to that good mood for it. "You don't think Daniel finished decorating all of them while we've been up here, do you?"

"He better not," J laughed, pleased as anything to see Spin smiling again. "Plus, I don't think he works that fast." He crossed the room and opened the door, nodding at Spin to come with. "C'mon, let's get goin'."

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